What does a grieving baby look like? How does a grieving baby act? As you begin to parent your newly adopted baby, you will soon learn to know her cries. One of those cries is her “sad” cry. Sometimes, for seemingly no reason, the baby will cry and will be almost inconsolable. I believe that this is when they are grieving the loss of their mother. Many adoptive mothers will cry right along with their babies, feeling empathy for such a significant loss.

How do you comfort a grieving baby? My recommendation would be to do it the same way... more

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Babies are born knowing their mothers. They know her voice, the rhythm of her heart, they shared her feelings for months – happy, sad, scared – they felt them all, through the release of maternal endorphins, catecholamines (stress hormones), adrenaline and more. Babies are symbiotic with their mothers. It's meant to be that way.

Do you know the book “Primal Wound” that created such a stir in the adoption community? I believe that book... more

This quick, easy to use book was written to help those who want to help, but don't know where to start. It is as applicable for families with young children, as it is to young adults as to seniors.

It's “How to Make a Difference: Over 1,000 Ways to Serve at Home, in Your Community and in the World” by Catherine Poelman.

In his second State of the Union address, just four short months after the September 11 attacks, President George W Bush issued a bold invitation to the American people.

“My call tonight”, he said,... more

Some children, as I mentioned in my previous blog, won't honeymoon, but will go right into expressing their displeasure. This may take the form of crying, screaming, hitting, biting, gouging, throwing objects and other noisy, physical manifestations.

What do you do if you are still in-country and you know people are watching you?! How do you handle being under the watchful eye of others? At home, you could use time out, or hold the child on your lap until he or she calms down, without letting them injure you, try to distract them, take away the offending object being hurled or a variety... more

Here are a few more details about the actual adoption hearing in Zambia. The process varies somewhat from individual to individual, of course, but generally speaking, you can expect it to go like this: *Identify child *Start “fostering” - court-ordered and the child is assigned to your care *Dept of Social Welfare prepares documentation about your fitness as parents (a guardian-ad-litem report, which states in part that no life insurance policy has yet been taken out on said infants) *Petition for adoption is also prepared... more

Continued from here

You can expect that many children who are pre-verbal will not “honeymoon”, but will go right into letting you know what they think of this new situation. You look different, you smell different, you feel different, you sound different and the stuff you are feeding them sure as heck is different and they don't like it. Would you? I'd be terrified if everything I knew was suddenly changed. Some parents think they've made... more

That magic moment is finally here – that child you have been dreaming about, praying about and working towards is finally in your arms. If you are adopting from Africa, in most instances, you are IN Africa. You have time to “babymoon” and spend almost exclusive one-on-one time with that child, something that is not likely to happen again once you “re-enter” your normal life. So what can you expect? What's normal?

Right off the bat, you need to know that it's OK if you don't feel maternal love oozing from every pore as you hold this child in... more

So - you're traveling to Africa to adopt. You're not sure if the weight of a laptop is worth bringing it (in your carry-on, of course). Let me give you ten good reasons to bring one!

1. Unlimited music options (based on what you copy to your hard drive, anyway). I enjoy music and like to have it in the background, so this is a very easy way to have the music without having to bring each CD separately.

2. Movie viewing pleasure – watch as many as you want! The DVD's are lighter than books, anyway.... more

1. Laptop and flash drive (see the top ten reasons to bring a laptop) - they are invaluable for writing long, detailed posts. You are not going to lose the whole thing when the Internet connection gets broken (after you've spent an hour writing) you can use it when you have extra time (like when the babies are sleeping), you can do all sorts of stuff with pictures – and then just download everything to the flash drive when heading to the Internet cafe. It's about my favorite, must-have item.

2. Digital camera – obvious reasons, but you will want to... more

What I wish I had brought more of: *DVD's – we brought about 20, but have long since watched all of them. *disposable diapers – they are available here, but for $25 a bag!! *onesies *blankets – I only brought one per baby and am wishing for two *I wish I had remembered my battery-powered curling iron. ;) *another skirt (I brought one, one dress and one jumper) *at least one shirt of a different color – everything matches, but I'm getting tired of turquoise *hair things *huge bag of Tootsie Rolls to give out to kids (the 6-lb size) What I wish I had brought less of: *food – I'm... more