As adoptive parents, especially transracially adopting parents, we are bound to run into some bias out there. We all know what racism is, right? And sexism? What about “adoptism”? A term coined by Gail Steinberg and Beth Hall, co-founders of PACT, they define it as follows:

A belief that forming a family by birth is superior to forming a family by adoption.
A belief that keeping a child with his/her biological parents is inherently better than placing a child for adoption.
A belief that for those growing up as adopted people, the primary determinant of human traits and capacities is genetics
A belief that differences in family-building structures or methods produces an inherent superiority in families of a particular structure or method.
Prejudice or discrimination against members of the adoption triad.

They believe that all members of the triad are victims of “adoptism” and describe it thus:

For birth parents, it's the view that parents who choose adoption for their children are considered not as good or as valid as parents who parent their children – even by those who love them best.

For children who are adopted, it's the view that people who are placed for adoption are not considered to have been as valued by their birth parents as children raised within their original families. Even from those who love them best, unexpected comments may reinforce the stereotype that adopted means rejected, cast-off, bad seed, etc.

For adoptive parents, it's the view – even by those who love them best – that adoption is second-best, that families formed by adoption are not as valid as those formed by birth.

I have seen that reflected on these blogs a number of times – most recently when one mom said her biggest fear when it came to adopting was that she would never measure up, never be good enough for her adopted children.

Steinberg and Hall also said

Adoptism is a cultural belief that families formed by adoption are truly less connected that are birth families, that birth families should be preserved at all costs and under all circumstances; that people who were adopted were first rejected, maybe for a reason. No matter what place you hold in the adoption triad, such judgments and discrimination feel the same. As a society, we tend to understand the dangers of bias based on race, gender or class. Adoptism is no different. Adoptism is just as damaging.

What do you think? Have you been a victim of adoptism? I know I have and frankly, I love that there is a word for it. I'll have more thoughts to share. Please share yours.