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One aspect of adding a child to your family via adoption is the issue of “claiming” that child as your own. Adoption.com has several articles about this subject. One on Entitlement vs. ownership is here, while one that asks “Are we the real parents?” is here. This entry is a working definition of “entitlement”.
As one part of that “entitlement” or “claiming”, I would like to talk about is the spiritual “claiming” of our children. Ritual is important to us as human beings and many adoptive parents have the desire to recognize their newly adopted child in a spiritual ceremony (that may or may not be from an organized religion).
You can honor the spiritual dimension of your adoption by planning rituals or celebrations that encompass your faith. Are you going to have your child baptized? When? By whom? Will there be a waiting period after you come home?
What about a blessing, a christening, or a bris? What if your child is still young, but no longer a newborn? Will you have a ceremony where you present them to your congregation? What is the timing on that? A week after you get home? A month? More?
Are you LDS and planning on having your children sealed to you? You will probably want to consider the children’s ages when deciding how quickly to do that. Will all members of your family be in white, or just the ones being sealed? Who will you invite? What type of preparations will you make to ensure your children are ready for the experience?
Are you Jewish and need ideas on planning ceremonies? Head on over to the Jewish Adoption blog or the Jewish Adoption forum and get your questions answered there.
There are also ideas for non-denominational ceremonies (although they are harder to find on-line) and it’s likely that your specific church has specific things they already do. One resource for rituals and adoption ceremonies of all types is
“Creating Ceremonies: Innovative Ways to Meet Adoption Challenges” by Cheryl Lieberman and Rhea Bufferd.
Take some time to think about it, talk to your ecclesiastical leader, and make some preliminary plans if this is an aspect of your life that is important to you. It can be a wonderful thing for your family as you grow and stretch and add new members.
