Continued from here

You can expect that many children who are pre-verbal will not “honeymoon”, but will go right into letting you know what they think of this new situation. You look different, you smell different, you feel different, you sound different and the stuff you are feeding them sure as heck is different and they don't like it. Would you? I'd be terrified if everything I knew was suddenly changed. Some parents think they've made a terrible mistake in those early days because the child is expressing their fear and grief in the only way they know how – crying, tantrums, hitting, biting, etc. It's OK – in six months, it won't be like this!

You may find yourself feeling frustrated because you can't soothe your new child. You don't yet know their different “cries” and the same sorts of actions you've used to soothe other crying children just aren't working. It's OK. They are frustrated too, because no one can tell what they want! I find myself in that very situation right now with baby Hope. I don't know why she's fussy, nothing is working and we are just learning that mother-daughter dance that will continue for the rest of our lives. I suppose my previous adoptive experience gives me the benefit of knowing that we WILL learn that dance and things will smooth out.

If you are adopting older children, many of them do “honeymoon”. For maybe the first time, there is enough food – and you're providing it. There are games and gifts and toys and activities and picture books – all things you brought to ease the transition. They are not likely to realize that this IS like a honeymoon and “real life” in your home will not continue like this. There will be school and chores and responsibilities and some very real language issues. But those early days can be quite delightful when everyone is still enamored with everyone else. :)

If, as I mentioned, you are still in Africa, you may be dealing with your own uncomfortable feelings – culture shock, homesickness, tired of being away from home where everything is different. The great thing about being an adult is you have the ability to tell yourself that in some small way, that's how your child is feeling and that while you will soon be back in “your element”, they will not. Empathy is learned in many different ways, is it not?

Enjoy those early days for the gift they are.